So Sayeth the Odinson: The Odinson’s Top 10 Kaiju Killers

Greetings from the Odinson,

Who doesn’t like a movie about a giant ape?  Kong: Skull Island isn’t in danger of winning an Oscar for Best Picture of the Year, but it is a darn good time at the movies.  The same thing can be said about 2014’s Godzilla.  And, as we have all heard by now, both the King of Skull Island and the King of All Monsters are set for a collision course in a championship bout set for 2020.  And *Spoilers*, as we have learned from a post-credits scene in Kong, this Monsterverse just got even bigger!

So, in a world with colossal BMDs (Beasts of Mass Destruction) like King Kong, Godzilla, Gamera, Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah, how can mankind possibly hope to survive such an onslaught?  How will we defend ourselves against these monstrous titans?   Well, the obvious answer would be the mighty Jaegers from Pacific Rim, especially since that movie was made by Legendary, the very same film company responsible for the Monsterverse movies.  Now, while that would be super cool, we fanboys and girls know that there are others much more qualified and better suited to handle a kaiju outbreak of apocalyptic proportions such as this one.

The Odinson’s Top 10 Kaiju Killers

10 – Jet Jaguar – This super android possesses the ability to fly and to increase his size and strength to gigantic proportions.  He once stood beside Godzilla to help defeat the terrifying cyborg-monster Megalon and the alien beast Gigan, thus thwarting the revenge plans of the undersea kingdom of Seatopia.  Jet Jaguar’s enthusiastic kung fu and gadgets combined with Godzilla’s unparalleled might prove too much for the monstrous duo and send them packing.  Kick rocks, Megalon!  Jet Jaguar has always been a favorite of the Odinson.  Unfortunately, he’s only been seen in one movie.  Most fans probably dismiss this try-hard little super hero as no more than a Dime-Store Ultraman.

9 – Spectreman – Powers form space, he’ll save the human race…  Over 30 years later and I can still sing every single word of the theme song.  Too bad for you, good reader, that you cannot hear me sing it now, for the Odinson truly has a lovely singing voice.  He’s an alien sent to protect Earth from the evil Dr. Gori and his seemingly endless supply of man-beasts and kaiju.  Spectreman wears a human disguise, but when duty calls, he is empowered by a satellite known as Nebula 71 and transformed into an armored super hero with many powers, gadgets, and weapons.  When battles escalate beyond control, Spectreman has the ability to increase his size to meet the giant monsters on even ground.  Spectreman was a huge part of the Odinson’s afterschool entertainment when he was a child, but unfortunately, like Jet Jaguar, he has been relegated to cult status and has never received the recognition he truly deserves.  Some may even consider him the K-Mart Ultraman.  Speaking of…

8 – Ultraman – Arguably one of the most recognizable Japanese super heroes in the world, Ultraman was one of the first of his kind.  Debuting in the 1960s, Ultraman set the standard for what Kaiju-fighting super heroes can and should be.  Ultraman is very similar to Captain Mar-Vell who shared a body with Rick Jones.  Ultraman’s human host, a totally independent individual, can maintain a semi-normal lifestyle, but he can transform into the super hero when danger is near.  Ultraman is known for his array of weapons and sweet martial arts moves, but his most powerful ability is his finishing move known as the Spacium Ray, a devastating energy attack.  On Earth and on the far side of the universe, Ultraman has been smashing evil and kicking Kaiju butt for over 50 years now and he is still going strong today.

7 – The Mighty OrBots – Go Mighty OrBots!  These five robots can unite to form one giant super robot piloted by their brilliant creator Rob Simmons and his co-pilot the diminutive robot simply known as Oh-no!  Each of the OrBots has a unique personality and very special abilities.  Tor is immensely strong and powerful.  Bort is able to transform into nearly any machine or vehicle conceivable.  The twins, Bo and Boo, each have amazing abilities.  Bo can control the elements like fire and water and Boo can teleport and manipulate energy, performing incredible feats.  And, then there is Crunch, a robust automaton with the ability to consume matter, any matter, and transform it into energy.  None of the OrBots are what you’d call a great thinker.  That’s where Simmons comes in.  United, the OrBots are an invincible force for justice and a constant thorn in the side of Umbra, the leader of the alien Shadow Empire.

6 – Big O – With influences that range from James Bond to Godzilla to The Twilight Zone, our hero, Roger Smith lives in a world of super science, androids, monsters, super heroes, and super spies.  With big corporation constantly vying for total control and using armies of assassins, sorcerers and kaiju to get the job done, Roger uses the mightiest weapon of them all to save the day – Big-O.  Big-O is a giant super robot with immeasurable strength and durability.  It has shown on many occasions to be able to stand against and even defeat opponents of greater size and power, or rather, perceived greater power.  Big-O is arguably the mightiest giant robot on this list.  But, not the best.

5 – Red Ronin – When the leviathan known as Godzilla rose out of the Pacific and started his rampage across the United States, Tony Stark’s company, at the behest of SHIELD, engineered a giant robot to combat the mighty beast.  Wanting to be a hero, teenager Rob Takiguchi snuck into the robot and used it to confront Godzilla.  Though a novice pilot, young Rob was able to operate the giant robot and even survive a three-way brawl between Red Ronin, Godzilla, and the Bigfoot-like Yetigar.  Alas, young Rob’s luck ran out when Red Ronin fell in battle trying to help Godzilla stop the invasion of the alien Mega-Monsters!  Red Ronin’s true power would be seen when while in the hands of a competent pilot, he singlehandedly fought Earth’s Mightiest Heroes the Avengers to a standstill.  Here’s a funny side note.  In New Mutants Annual #2, when Warlock and the Impossible Man got into a shape-shifting contest, Warlock proved victorious with a clever morph that involved taking on the guise of Red Ronin.

4 – G-Force – The Gatchamen are a team of five teenagers that have been genetically transformed into super ninjas.  They protect planet Earth from the evil machinations of Zoltar and the alien empire known as Spectra.  Each member of the team has unique skills they bring to the table.  Their super human fighting abilities are legendary, plus they can perform a group combo called the Tornado Attack, a devastating attack that can strike down entire battalions of enemies.  However, when faced with the mechanical monstrosities and super weapons of Spectra, G-Force must rely on their own super weapon.  Each member of the team operates a unique vehicle, each designed and suited to fit that member of the team’s personality.  When these vehicles combine they create the Phoenix, a super aircraft loaded with an array of super weapons, but its most powerful weapon of all is the Fiery Phoenix, an ultimate finishing move which no enemy can withstand.

3 – The Shogun Warriors – Combattra.  Dangard Ace.  Grendizer.  Raideen.  The Great Mazinger.  Their names are mythical.  Their exploits legendary.  They are mankind’s first line of defense against forces from beyond the stars that would plague our world with monstrous invaders of titanic proportions.  Each mighty robot has a unique special weapon such as exploding fists, endless caches of rockets, or flaming swords.  Some Shogun Warriors can even transform and/or separate into several parts.  Not only were the Shogun Warriors part of one of the coolest toy lines of the 1970s, but they also starred in some of the most memorable animes and a highly underrated comic book series from Marvel Comics.

2 – The Power Rangers – It’s Morphin’ Time!  These five teenagers with attitude were transformed by the immortal Zordon into super heroes.  Designated as Red, Blue, Black, Yellow, and Pink and empowered with super speed, strength, agility, and martial arts skills, the Rangers protect planet Earth from the evil sorceress Rita Repulsa and her army of mutants, man-beasts, and Puddy Men.  Each member of the team also pilots a Zord, powerful mechanized dinosaurs.  Plus, when Rita’s emissaries of doom grow to skyscraper size, the Power Rangers’ Zords can unite to form the nigh invincible Megazord!  When things get out of hand, our heroes are joined by their ally, the enigmatic Green Ranger.  The Megazord can unite with the Green Ranger’s Dragonzord to form the most powerful Zord of all – the Mega Dragonzord!  The Megazord usually vanquishes its foes by summoning the Power Sword.  However, even the Power Rangers and the mighty Power Sword must take a back seat to the next name on this list.

1 – Voltron – …loved by good, feared by evil!  Five brave space explorers set out to locate a legend that had gone missing years ago.  On the far away planet known as Arus, these explorers discovered five giant robots, each in the shape of a lion, each harnessing and representing the powers of the elements.  Separate these giant lions are powerful, but united they form Voltron, the most powerful force for justice in the cosmos!  The Voltron Force must defend planet Arus and all of mankind against the evil forces of planet Doom and their endless supply of WMDs and deadly kaiju.  Luckily, Voltron has the greatest kaiju repellant in the universe – the Blazing Sword.  There is not a monster or evil doer alive, or dead, that can withstand the Blazing Sword’s destructive attack.  Of all the kaiju-fighters and giant robots in history, Voltron is the most legendary.  Voltron is not just the defender of mankind, he is the defender of the universe!

Honorable Mentions: Big Guy and Rusty, Frankenstein, Jr., Dexter, Grape Ape, and the Powerpuff Girls.

So, bring it on Godzilla, King Kong, even King Ghidorah.  Voltron is on guard and ole painless (i.e. the Blazing Sword) is waiting.

This is Odinson bidding thee farewell

NOTE: The Odinson’s book is now available for purchase!  Five strong women who have all lived through vicious attacks by a demented madman team up to seek out the murderer that haunts a small east Texas town and attempt to end his reign of terror once and for all.  For those interested, just follow this link – The Survivors: A Glen Haven Tale.

Tagged: So Sayeth the Odinson with Michael Breakfield