So Sayeth the Odinson: Fight Night 2018 with the Odinson

Greetings from the Odinson,

 

Ding! Ding!

 

It is that time of year once again, boys and girls, when the Odinson talks about the heavyweight bouts he would love to see go down in the realms of comic books.  This year I have some truly delicious clashes, and a few battles that could actually be made possible by the powers that be.

 

Without further ado…

 

It’s Fight Night 2018 with the Odinson

 

Let them fight!

 

The Undercard (Preliminary Matches)

 

Deadpool vs. Evil Ernie – Wade Wilson, a.k.a. the Merc with a Mouth, is a mentally unstable, fast-talking, wisecracking, fourth wall-breaking, super assassin that possesses a healing factor that puts Wolverine to shame.  Seriously, this guy has been stabbed, shot, blown up, beheaded, dismembered, and set on fire, yet he still comes back for more.  Oh, and the universe’s physical incarnation of Death is in love with him.

 

Ernest Fairchild is a psychotic supernatural undead anarchist with precognitive powers, an aptitude for whole sale slaughter, and the ability to control the dead.  Ernie’s best friend is Smiley, a sentient smiley face button with a talent for wicked conversation.  Oh, and he is the consort of Lady Death, a demon goddess bent on eradicating all life.

 

Not only does this twisted duo have a knack for ending life, they both have a real knack for killing super heroes!  Deadpool Killed the Marvel Universe.  In fact, he had so much fun the first time that Deadpool Killed the Marvel Universe, Again!  In Evil Ernie vs. the Superheroes, the undead villain utterly slaughters an army of super powered champions, the only ones that had a shot at stopping his war on life.

 

Winner: Deadpool.

 

Evil Ernie can rip Deadpool limb-from-limb, stab him, and even maul him with an army of undead, it just does not matter.  In the end, Deadpool simply cannot die, and that beats someone whose sole existence revolves around murder.

 

Sandman vs. Carnage – After a freak nuclear accident, Flint Marko’s body chemistry is completely altered and he is now comprised of living sand.  He can alter his body’s size and shape at will, turning his hands into massive bludgeoning or stabbing weapons.  His sandy makeup makes him next to impossible to grab or hold, and he can create blinding and incapacitating sand storms.

 

Cletus Kasady is a psychotic murderer that has bonded with the symbiote offspring of Venom.  Together, they have become one of the most dangerous and feared monsters in the Marvel Universe.  They have superhuman strength and are nearly impervious to physical harm.  Their malleable body can stretch and twist into all sorts of nasty slashing and stabbing shapes as well as launch flesh-rending projectiles.

 

Not only is Sandman one the oldest and most uncanny foes of Spider-Man, but he has beleaguered the Fantastic Four and stood toe-to-toe with heavy hitters like the Hulk!  Carnage is easily one of the most deranged foes of Spider-Man, plus he has battled the Avengers and even enslaved the Silver Surfer!

 

Winner: Sandman (maybe).

 

This one was almost too close to call.  Neither can really physically harm the other.  In the end, hopefully Marko is smart enough to use Carnage’s natural weaknesses to fire and sound against him.

 

Are you warmed up yet?  On to the next round…

 

Immortal Battle Royal

 

The Eternals vs. The New Gods – The Eternals are a secret society of demi-gods that reside high atop a mountain in a golden sanctuary.  Created many millennia ago by the Celestials, the Eternals have been granted nearly indestructible bodies, nigh immortality, and powers and abilities far beyond those mortal men.  They protect Earth and mankind from their demonic cousins, the Deviants, a race of vampires, ogres, warlocks, and monsters, and for centuries, their heroic exploits have been mistaken by mankind for those of the Olympians.

 

The gods of New Genesis are super human beings that have been locked in an eternal civil war with the hellish world of Apokolips for eons.  They are a secluded, peaceful race of deities that only get involved or interfere overtly with the affairs of mortal men when the threats are universal.  They possess knowledge and technologies that are far beyond those of mere mortals, including Mother Box, an all-purpose super computer that can, along with many other abilities, heal wounds and even bend time and space.

 

Winner: The Eternals.

 

Highfather and Zuras are a draw.  Lightray may be able to keep up with Makkari, maybe.  Big Barda vs. Thena would be awesome to behold.  And, I’ll even concede that Orion could take Ikaris in battle, not easily, but still win.  But, after that, the gods of New Genesis really don’t have anything to contend with the matter-altering powers of Sersi.  Sorry, Mister Miracle.  And I don’t foresee Darkseid, Kalibak, or Granny Goodness coming to their aid out of the kindness of their hearts.  Plus, the Eternals always have that ace up their sleeve known as the Forgotten One.

 

In the end, the Uni-Mind trumps Mother Box.

 

No matter who wins, one thing is for sure, this clash of Jack Kirby titans would truly shake the pillars of heaven!

 

Now, it’s time for the battle that will decide the undisputed heavyweight championship of Marvel villainy!  (Or at least entertain us for the next few minutes.)

 

The Main Event

 

Thanos vs. Apocalypse – I assume these are two villains of such felonious reputation that neither of them needs an introduction.  I’m actually just going to ask a question: How has Marvel not made this happen yet?  Seriously.

 

Can you imagine?  It would be a huge bombastic tale where the goals of these two perennial Big Bads collide and the only way things can be resolved is for them to battle!

 

The Avengers and X-Men would, of course, be caught in the middle of it all, and with their tumultuous history (Uncanny X-Men #9, X-Men vs. the Avengers, X-Sanction, and, oh yeah, AvX) I guarantee the drama would be delicious!  How do arch villains like Magneto, Mister Sinister, Kang, and Ultron fit into the scenario?  How about a bone-crunching showdown between the Black Order and the Four Horsemen?  Do the Inhumans, the Eternals, and other cosmic Marvel characters like the Guardians of the Galaxy, Silver Surfer, Elders of the Universe, Asgard, and the Celestials, all of whom both villains have some ties to, get involved?  How do wild cards like Adam Warlock and Deadpool fact into the scenario?

 

Just think of all the other fantastic history-making moments that could come out of a monumental tale of this magnitude.  To the best of my knowledge, these two arch villains have never even met.  How can that be?  This must happen.

 

Marvel, hear my plea!  Make this happen.

 

Winner: Doctor Doom.

 

In the end, nobody upstages Victor Von Doom.  It is the only outcome DOOM would allow.

 

Now those were some truly teeth-rattling throw downs, a few of which fans could actually one day see.  Fingers crossed.  Be sure to check out the Odinson’s previous Fight Nights (2012, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017) and until next time, remember…

 

“Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.” – Michael P. Watson

 

This is Odinson bidding thee farewell

About Odinson

I am a lifelong comics fan and pop culture enthusiast. Comic books, novels, games, television, movies, I love it all. From fantasy to science fiction, drama to comedy, as long as the writing and execution are interesting, I love it, and I want to talk about it.

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