So Sayeth the Odinson: Fight Night 2019 Bonus Round: The Asgard/Eternia War

Greetings from the Odinson,

The Masters of the Universe are a mighty clan of warriors, powerful magic-users, and masters of super science.  They defend the secrets of Castle Grayskull, a cauldron of revelations that could unlock ultimate cosmic power, from the evil forces in the cosmos that would seek to exploits those secrets.  The Masters of the Universe have battled the DC Universe to a standstill and brought the tyranny of the Injustice Universe to an end. 

However, there is one challenge that the Odinson would absolutely love to see them take on – The Aesir!

Over the majestic Rainbow Bridge resides fabled Asgard, home of the mighty Norse Gods.  For eons they have protected the Nine Realms against the monstrous hordes of Ragnarok and staved off the end of days countless times over.  They are a warrior race of immortals, honed in battle, masters of sorcery, and surrounded by technologies that are beyond mortal comprehension. 

This would be a battle for the Ages!

Fight Night 2019: Bonus Round

The Asgard/Eternia War

Before we begin, from the Halls of Valhalla to the ramparts of Castle Eternia, from the fiery pits of Muspelheim to the dungeons of Snake Mountain, there are legions of combatants that will partake in this immense battle, but it will be the 12 battles below that will decide the outcome. 

Let them fight!

The Allies

Lady Sif vs. Teela – Lady Sif is a warrior goddess whose heavenly beauty is only surpassed by the deadliness of her sword.  She has loved, fought, and bled alongside the greatest warriors in the Nine Worlds and all foes of Asgard are wary of her blade.

Also a warrior goddess, Teela is the daughter of one of the most powerful magic-users in all of fiction and the adopted daughter of the weapons master of the Kingdom of Eternia.  She can fight harder, run faster, and outsmart just about any other person alive.  Her reputation as a warrior is so renowned that she is the Captain of the Guard in one of the mightiest kingdoms in the entire cosmos.   

Winner: Eternia.

This is a pretty evenly matched contest, but Teela edges out Sif with sheer force of will.  She has spent her whole life proving that she is the best of the best and that won’t stop now.

Balder the Brave vs. Man-at-Arms – Balder is the Lord of Light.  He has faced down the Hordes of Hel, and, in the absence of the All-Father, he has even stepped in as the King of the Gods, twice. 

Duncan is a weapons master, master strategist, and an accomplished engineer.  He can figure out, operate, and repair just about anything.  Plus, when all else fails, he can bash just about anything into powder with his mighty mallet.

Winner: Asgard.

Next to Thor, Balder is the greatest warrior in all the Nine Realms.

Fandral the Dashing vs. Stratos – Fandral is handsome, brave, and possesses a biting wit that is nearly as sharp as his flashing sword.

Stratos is the ruler of the noble Birdmen of Eternia.  His cunning and ability to fly makes him a very dangerous and mobile adversary.

Winner: Eternia.

As dashing as Fandral is, he would have a hard time overcoming the speed and ranged attacks of the high-flying Stratos.

Volstagg the Valiant vs. Ram Man – Volstagg the Voluminous is a larger than life veteran of Asgard, and though he may be well past his prime, he will not hesitate to regale thee with tales of how he earned the name The Lion of Asgard.

Ram Man is a stocky, dim-witted human-tank with the power of a battering ram.  When they said use your head, Ram Man may have taken it a little too literally. 

Winner: Asgard.

Though Ram Man will surely give the Lion of Asgard a terrible headache, in the end, the battle experience of Volstagg the Valiant will prove too much for the human-battering ram.  

Hogun the Grim vs. Man-E-Faces – Hogun is the strong silent type.  He fights for Asgard and for his brothers-in-arms – The Warriors Three.  He is a man of few words that lets the might of his enormous mace do his talking for him.

Man-E-Faces is a peculiar being with the uncanny ability to transform from human warrior to savage beast to powerful robot.   

Winner: Asgard.

Warriors.  Beasts.  Machines.  Hogun the Grim has faced them all before and found them all wanting.

Heimdall vs. She-Ra – Heimdall is the stalwart protector of Asgard, a stoic watchman that stands guard upon the Rainbow Bridge.  With his cosmic awareness, this mighty guardsman can count the grains of sand on the beaches of Earth, hear the melody of a songbird on distant Chandilar, and smell the grass growing on beautiful Zen-La.   

She-Ra is the Princess of Power and He-Man’s twin sister.  With strength and speed to rival even the most powerful man in the universe, Adora also wields the powerful Sword of Protection which possesses magical abilities seemingly only limited by her imagination.

Winner: Eternia.

This will be an amazing battle, but in the end, She-Ra can just throw too many different curveballs at the stoic guardsman and will eventually batter down his defenses.

Throg vs. Orko – Throg was a normal frog until a sliver of Thor’s magical hammer transformed him into the mighty Frog of Thunder.

Orko is a mystical imp from a parallel dimension whose good intentions and powerful magic spells more times than not either backfire or cause trouble for all those around him, friends and foes alike.   

Winner: Eternia.

It is crazy how magic works and can make the impossible possible, and the magic of Orko is even crazier than normal.

Odin vs. The Sorceress – Odin is the All-Father, mighty omnipotent ruler of the Aesir and wielder of the all-powerful Odinforce.

The Sorceress of Grayskull is the immortal protector of Castle Grayskull whose magical powers fuel the strength He-Man.  Within the walls of Grayskull she is all but invincible, but while outside the castle’s ramparts she takes on the slightly less powerful form of the giant falcon, Zoar.     

Winner: Asgard

Odin has been waging wars against titans, giants, trolls, and space gods for over a millennia and unless this battle is taking place within the walls of Grayskull, in the end, he will prove just too powerful, even for the immortal Sorceress of Eternia. 

Bring on the Bad Guys

Loki and the Hordes of Ragnarok vs. Skeletor and the Evil Masters – Loki is the God of Evil, the Lord of Lies, and a master of the mystic arts.  He is destined to one day rally the armies of darkness – the giants, the trolls, the monsters, the dark elves, and all the primordial titans – and lead the charge against the immortals of Asgard in the end of days battle known as Ragnarok

Skeletor is the Master of Destruction, an agent of chaos, and a powerful warlock.  Wielding the sinister Havoc Staff, Skeletor holds an army of mutants, monsters, and witches under his thrall, and he will not stop until the secrets of Castle Grayskull are his alone.

WinnerAsgard

The Odinson struggled mightily with this one.  I could make a case for either side’s victory.

Evil-Lyn and the Norn Queen Karnilla cancel each other out.  Beast Man may be able to tame the fierce Fenris Wolf, but the Midgard Serpent bows to no king of the sea, not even Mer-Man.  And, while Tri-Klops, Trapjaw, and Faker make powerful generals, they don’t trump anything that Amora the Enchantress, Skurge the Executioner, or Malekith the Dark Elf bring to the table. 

In the end, Loki is also a warrior born and Skeletor is a coward at heart, and even though their magic powers are pretty even, Loki out evils the diabolical King of Snake Mountain.

Wild Card Round

Beta Ray Bill vs. Zodac – Bill is the oath-brother of Mighty Thor and a genetically engineered super warrior that possesses all the same powers of the Thunder God, right down to his very own magic hammer, Stormbreaker. 

Zodac is a cosmic enforcer that soars the spaceways upon an amazing chair that can travel through time and space.  He is a powerful neutral force that seeks only balance in the universe and ultimate knowledge.    

Winner: Asgard.

I’ve witnessed Zodac barely dodge the axe of He-Man.  He would not be able to dodge the mighty blows of Stormbreaker.

Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder vs. Battle Cat – Thor’s giant goats pull his chariot across the heavens and can even traverse the stars.  They regenerate every morning, even after being slain and/or consumed.

Cringer is Prince Adam’s “fearless friend.”  But, when Adam transforms into the heroic He-Man, he can pass a part of his immense power onto Cringer and transform the jade feline into the mighty Battle Cat!

Winner: Eternia.

Even though Thor’s mighty goats can regenerate each morning after being slain that just means Battle Cat will have a full belly from now until eternity.

The Main Event

Thor vs. He-Man – Thor is the son of All-Father Odin and the terran titan Gaea.  He is the mightiest of all the Aesir, the wielder of invincible Mjolnir, the God of Thunder, and the protector of the realm of Earth.

He-Man He is the most powerful man in the universe, the wielder of the magical Power Sword, the stalwart hero of Eternia, and the defender of the secrets of Castle Grayskull.    

Winner: Asgard.

This is surly a clash of titans!

They both possess unearthly strength and speed.  He-Man’s powerful sword is every bit as magnificent as Thor’s mighty hammer.  Their fighting prowess and combat cunning are both equally astonishing.  Neither of their mortal guises will come into play nor affect the outcome of this battle.

So, in the end, the victory will go to Earth’s mightiest hero, because Thor can do one thing even the most powerful man in the universe cannot.

He can call down the THUNDER!

Final Tally: Asgard: 7 / Eternia: 5

The Winner is: ASGARD.

It was a battle that shook the pillars of heaven and actually turned out to be a lot closer than I thought.  Though the Masters of the Universe are among the mightiest warriors in all the cosmos, the battle-hardened immortals of fabled Asgard edge them out and prove victorious. 

One last thing before I go, I have an exciting announcement.

My book The Survivors: A Glen Haven Tale has been produced into an audiobook, with fantastic narration by Courtney Sanello and an amazing new cover by Sarah Maverick.

Just follow this link The Survivors Audiobook.

This is Odinson bidding thee farewell     

Advertisements

About Odinson

I am a lifelong comics fan and pop culture enthusiast. Comic books, novels, games, television, movies, I love it all. From fantasy to science fiction, drama to comedy, as long as the writing and execution are interesting, I love it, and I want to talk about it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s