So Sayeth the Odinson: Orion vs. Lobo

Greetings from the Odinson,

The Brawl for it All!  The pillars of heaven will shake tonight!  The Scion of Apokolips meets the Scourge of the Cosmos as we bear witness to a clash of titans! 

Orion vs. Lobo 

Orion – He is the offspring of the dark god – Darkseid.  When he was a baby, to keep peace amongst the gods, the lord of Apokolips and the ruler of New Genesis exchanged firstborns.  Scott Free would be raised on the nightmare world of Apokolips where he would grow to become Mister Miracle the greatest escape artists in the cosmos.  Meanwhile, Orion would live in the heavenly domain of New Genesis, where he constantly struggled to keep his inner darkest instincts at bay.

Orion is arguably the greatest warrior in all the pantheon of Jack Kirby’s New Gods.  He has immense strength and durability.  He wears a combat harness that can project nearly impenetrable force shields, emit powerful force bolts, and allow him to travel through outer space at speeds beyond light.  He is immortal with a resilience that allows him to survive injuries that would turn a normal man into mush.  Plus, Orion can harness the celestial power of the Astro Force which he can use for devastating attacks and to enhance his already godly might. 

Orion also possesses the Mother Box, a super computer that can perform so many acts beyond the scope of imagination that to mere mortals its feats looks like miracles.  It can heal virtually any wound and open portals through time and space called BOOM Tubes which allow the New Gods to traverse from one galaxy to another in an instant, just to name a couple.  Orion is wont to succumb to bouts of berserker rage.  In this state, he is just as likely to destroy friend as well foe.  Pinging away feverishly, Mother Box works overtime to keep Orion’s darker side in check.         

Orion has stood his ground against Superman!  He has pummeled his hulking brother Kalibak more times than I can remember.  Orion single-handedly slaughtered an entire flock of Thangarian Warriors, you know, the guys whose ranks Hawkman comes from.  Wonder Woman punched him in the face and Orion simply smiled at her.  Orion once challenged the cosmic might of the Silver Surfer.  And, he even once battled the entire Justice League by himself!  And I’m not talking about the Detroit Team or the International variety, I’m talking about the A-Listers. 

However, Orion’s greatest feat of strength has to be the time he defeated and killed his father, Darkseid, the most feared villain in the whole DC Universe, in single combat.

Lobo – He is the last of his kind.  That is because Lobo is such a bastich that he hunted down and destroyed every living Czarnia on his planet.  He is an interstellar bounty hunter with an affinity for dolphins and a good cigar.  DC’s answer to Wolverine, Lobo is as mean as they come, with a moral barometer that is as easy to keep track of as shifting sand.    

Lobo is also as strong as they come.  His senses, especially his sense of smell, are so super human that he can actually stalk and track prey across galaxies.  He glides through the cosmos astride a rocket-cycle that can achieve interstellar speeds.  He is a master of arms and is proficient in almost every single weapon in the known universe.  His favorite is a gnarly chain with a hook on the end of it which Lobo uses to pummel, entangle, and eviscerate his foes. 

However, Lobo’s biggest advantage is his out-of-this-world healing factor.  Lobo’s accelerated healing has allowed the Main Man to be stabbed, shot, blown up, squished, dismembered, and even decapitated and still he keeps on ticking.  Lobo has even been liquidated, but so long as there is a single droplet of blood, he can regenerate to his normal ornery self in no time at all.  Lobo has the kind of healing factor that makes Wolverine, Deadpool, and Savage Dragon envious.  Lobo proved himself too hot to dwell in hell and too hard to hold in heaven, so he found himself banned from the afterlife, making Lobo truly immortal!   

Yes, Lobo has tugged on the cape of Superman.  He threw-down with Captain Marvel, though the Big Red Cheese did prove that the Lobo’s chain was not as unbreakable as him, much to the Main Man’s chagrin.  Lobo is so tough that he fought against the power of Guy Gardner’s power ring.  How do you fist fight a Green Lantern?  Ask Lobo.  He has stood his ground against the hellish might of Etrigan the Demon.  And, he even murdered Santa Claus!  

Of all the Main Man’s dastardly accomplishments over the years, and there have been far too many to list here, the one that probably impressed the Odinson the most was something that happened fairly recently.  In Tales of the Dark Multiverse, in a plane where the Blackest Night spread unstopped, not only was Lobo one of the last surviving beings in the universe left to stand against the tide of darkness, but he took the full force of a Nekron-empowered-Darkseid’s Omega Beam and came back and gave the dark god as good as he got.  Albeit, that was in an alternate reality, but still, pretty, pretty impressive.

Location for this Contest of Champions:  The Moon. 

Though our rocky satellite may be reduced to space powder in the process, with the bone-crunching, earth-shaking blows these two will be raining down on each other, this battle needs to take place somewhere far away from civilians and any hero or villain that may get swept up in this tornado of volatile testosterone.       

Winner: Lobo.

This one was almost too close to call.  Orion is as tough as they come with godly might and battle prowess to rival legends like Hercules, Ares, and even Wonder Woman.  But, even if Mother Box turns off her influence and allows Orion to unleash his full rage, and even if he calls upon the cosmic Astro Force, in the end, Lobo’s healing factor and greater immortality wins. 

Lobo is every bit as strong and tough and mean as Orion can be, and even though Orion has felled the great Darkseid in battle, Lobo took the full force of the Omega Effect and popped back almost instantly.  He is the definition of unkillable.    

Odinson Trivia: Way back when I was eleven years old, the very first character I ever created for Dungeons and Dragons was a fighter named Orion.

Why has DC been sitting on this glorious gold?  Come on DC, Ding-Ding already!

Please, correct me if I’m wrong, because I would love to see this throw-down, but to the best of the Odinson’s knowledge, these two meatheads have never brawled. 

As a co-worker so succinctly put it when I asked if they had – “They are both still alive, so probably not.” 

This is Odinson bidding thee farewell     

NOTE: Be sure to check out my new book – Autumn Dawn: A Glen Haven Tale.  Available in Paperback and on Kindle.

About Odinson

I am a lifelong comics fan and pop culture enthusiast. Comic books, novels, games, television, movies, I love it all. From fantasy to science fiction, drama to comedy, as long as the writing and execution are interesting, I love it, and I want to talk about it.

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