Greetings from the Odinson,
Fight Night 2021
It’s been a time honored tradition here at So Sayeth the Odinson that once a year (sometimes more) I take a look at some potentially great showdowns. More times than not, these are throw downs we would not normally get to see because they involve characters from different companies, and in some cases, different mediums.
These are the brawls the Odinson would pay good money to see. So, without further ado.
Let them fight!
Judge Dredd vs. the Punisher – In a post-Apocalyptic future where most of the world has been laid to waste by nuclear holocaust, Mega City One is a megalopolis that covers the entire east coast of what was once the United States. Secured behind a giant wall and separated from Cursed Earth (the harsh, irradiated wastelands left over from World War III), the only thing that keeps the peace in this sprawling dystopian urban landscape are the Judges.
Judges are a police force with the power to arrest, judge, convict, and pass sentence on the criminals and lawbreakers of Mega City One. The greatest of all the Judges if Judge Dredd. Dredd is a tough as nails, no nonsense stickler for the rules with an impassive demeanor and is an unwavering steward to the letter of the law. His ultimate tool of the trade is his sidearm, the impeccable Lawgiver. This weapon is a gun that can fire standard ammo, ricocheting bullets, explosive rounds, and is a flame-thrower. From petty thief to mob boss, mutant terror to supernatural horror, no lawbreaker is beneath or exempt from his judgement. In Mega City One, Judge Dredd is the LAW.
Frank Castle was a Vietnam vet (or Operation: Desert Storm or War on Terror; depending on the era you read his comics), who returned home from decorated service to start a family and live a quiet life. However, his world was destroyed the day his family was murdered, caught in the crossfire of two warring mafia families. That was the day this highly skilled Special Forces one-man-wrecking-crew declared war on crime.
Known and feared as the Punisher, Castle is arguably the most determined and unwavering force for vengeance in the history of comics. There is no mercy in his war. He’s like a shark. No conscious, no remorse. There is no reasoning with him, there is no bargaining. If you are a criminal, you are guilty, and the Punisher is your executioner. His style of vigilante justice has brought Castle into conflict with the heroes of the Marvel Universe over and over, especially Daredevil and Spider-Man. Frank Castle is a weapons expert, a highly skilled combat specialist with a keen tactical mind and an uncanny ability to win, period. He is the best of the best. His skills are so OP that even though he possesses no super powers, he constantly is able to get it over on super powered adversaries, even guys like Wolverine and Captain America (from time to time).
Winner: Judge Dredd
I cannot even begin to tell you how hard it was to determine this one. And if I asked this question again tomorrow, my answer may be different. This is two bulls smashing heads. Neither will give an inch. Two things lead me to my answer. Though Frank Castle is merciless when it comes to criminals he will not kill a cop doing their job. Even a slight hesitation against a man that will not hesitate to take down a criminal by any means necessary coupled with Dredd’s superior tech and firepower makes me lean toward the LAW of Mega City One. (At least for today.)
U-Foes vs. the Frightful Four – I bought Incredible Hulk #254 off the spinner rack at my local 7-11 and within those pages, a little Odinson was introduced to Marvel’s evil Fantastic Four, the U-Foes. Comprised of Ironclad, a monstrous powerhouse with metal skin, X-Ray, a toxic villain with power over deadly radiation, Vapor, an intangible femme fatale able to turn herself into poisonous gas, and led by Vector, a cruel genius with the ability to repel matter with devastating force. To the best of my knowledge, the U-Foes have never squared off against Marvel’s First Family (don’t know why Marvel is sitting on that gem), but this showdown isn’t with the Fantastic Four. No, the Odinson is pitting the Hulk’s erstwhile sparring partners against the Marvel U’s other FF.
The Frightful Four made their debut all the way back in Fantastic Four #36. This fearsome quartet was assembled by the high-flying Wizard, a master of gadgets, gizmos, and super science. Through extortion, manipulation, and bribery, the Wizard recruited Medusa, the woman with the living hair and Queen of the Inhumans, Sandman, a walking, talking force of nature and one of the most underrated Marvel villains, and Paste-Pot Pete, a weapons master and gearhead who would rather you called him the Trapster.
The Frightful Four are extremely formidable adversaries but their ranks are mostly held together through deception and leverage. As a team, they are a ticking time-bomb. Whereas, even as dysfunctional as they are, the U-Foes are actually pretty darn close and a tight knit unit. Plus, they have given the Hulk, the strongest hero in the Marvel Universe, all he can handle on many, many occasions. The cool thing is this a showdown we could actually see.
Invid vs. the Zerg – The Invid are a crustaceous-like race of aliens from beyond the stars. They have highly advanced technology and weapons of mass destruction. They have spread out across the galaxy at an alarming rate in their quest to find the Flower of Life and destroy the traitorous Robotech Masters. When their fleets reached Earth, the Earth Defense Force, an army that was able to repel the alien Zentradi, was crushed in mere days by the Invid’s superior numbers and firepower.
The Zerg are a hive mind swarm with endless numbers and the uncanny ability to constantly adapt and accelerate their evolution. From frenzied, fast-moving zerglings to bull-size roaches that spit acid to grooved spine-throwing hydralisk to tunneling Nydus Worms to stingray-like Brood Lords that can rain death from the sky and all the many, many crawling, slithering, clawed horrors beyond, the Zerg are an unwavering force of death and destruction that can infest other sentient beings and lay waste to civilizations in hours and entire planets within days. They are led by the Queen of Blades, an infested human with psychic powers and a wont for destruction on par with the Dark Phoenix.
Winner: The Zerg
Take the Xenomorph, the Arachnids, and the Brood combine them with interstellar organic-technologies that are constantly rapidly evolving and endless numbers, and then throw in the leadership of the most powerful psionic in the universe, and you may be able to begin to comprehend the threat the Swarm poses to the rest of the galaxy. The Invid hold their own, but the Swarm is without number.
The Main Event
Avengers 1,000,000 BC vs. the Obsidian Age Ancients – One million years before Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Ant-Man and Wasp assembled Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, a group of the Marvel U’s primordial powers assembled to take on the foes no single hero could stand against alone. A pre-All-Father Odin armed with the invincible Mjolnir is joined by Iron Fist the Living Weapon, the hulking Neanderthal Star Brand, Ghost Rider astride a fiery mammoth, Agamotto the first Sorcerer Supreme, the deadly Black Panther, and the unparalleled power of the Phoenix. Together they pull off the impossible and topple the cosmic titan known as the Fallen Celestials!
Long before recorded history, before the oceans drank Atlantis there was assemble the world’s greatest champions. Pulled together from across the globe, this group of champions was comprised of the Anointed One, a juggernaut of strength and power, Manitou Raven, a Native American shaman and master of the mystic arts, Sela, a warrior woman with an unfettered lust for combat, Tezumak whose enchanted armor channels the divine power of his gods, and Whaler, a survivor of the Ice Age who can channel the energies of the Aurora Borealis. This group of super powered champions can actually claim a decisive beat down victory over the Justice League, and not just any Justice League either. No, the Obsidian Age Ancients handedly took down Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, and the Flash. The top drawer Justice League.
Winner: Avengers 1,000,000 BC
This was yet another battle that was almost too close to call. These two mega powers match up pretty darn equally, but the one thing that edges the Obsidian Age Ancients out and gives the prehistoric Avengers the W is the Phoenix. The Phoenix is a near Galactus level cosmic force and that is something that is very nearly impossible to overcome. Just ask the Avengers and X-Men.
This is Odinson bidding thee farewell
NOTE: For past entries of the So Sayeth the Odinson blog, over a decade’s worth of comic book and pop culture articles and reviews, click HERE. Also, be sure to check out my novels The Survivors and Autumn Dawn, which were inspired by 1980s horror – HERE and HERE