Greetings from the Odinson,
On this episode of So Sayeth the Odinson…
The Odinson Assembles a Team of TV Teenage Super Heroes
Every super team needs power.
Sabrina Spellman – How about someone magical? Someone who understands the strange, the macabre and the hard to define. Sabrina was born into magic and though she sometimes struggles to control her powers, her casting is only getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. She can fly, move objects with her mind, and enchant others. Sabrina has a wicked sense of humor, a devil’s smile, and comes with a feisty, opinionated little familiar named Salem, a 500-year-old witch with aspirations to take over the world that has been cursed to live as a black cat.
Every super team needs some muscle and a backbone.
Buffy Summers – Buffy is super humanly strong and fast. She is trained in many forms of armed and unarmed combat. And, she has the knowhow, the skills, and the determination to slay all the vampires, monsters, and demons the Hellmouth can spit into our world. She has a big heart and powerful charisma. People are drawn to her, both friends and foes, and everyone cannot help but fall in love with her. She is the glue that keeps a team together.
Every super team needs a detective.
Veronica Mars – Someone who is a problem solver. Someone able to piece together the clues that lead to a solution. Someone that can outsmart the wickedly clever, the diabolically perplexing, and the insanely inventive. Veronica is just the sleuth for this job. She’s keenly inquisitive, sharp witted, on point observant, and she has a strong sense of justice and doing what’s right, even in the face of strong adversity. When our team of TV teen heroes need answers, Veronica is going to find them.
Every super team needs a Big Brain.
Steve Urkel – The team needs that person that has mastered super science and has a knack for invention. Someone who can delve into the unknowable and the impossible and make sense of it all. Steven Urkel has the Big Brain for this job. To say he is wicked smart is an understatement. I mean we are talking about a teenager who invented a time machine, a formula that can transform him into a Boss, and a cloning machine. Can Urkel grind on the nerves? Sure. But from Donatello to Hank McCoy to the Blue Ranger, I think all long-winded science types can rub their peers the wrong way from time to time. Besides, how great would it be to see Urkel do his victory dance at end of each episode?
Every super team needs a bad boy.
Tommy Oliver – As the Green Ranger, Tommy is a super human fighting machine, a teenager with attitude. He has done things he regrets and wishes to atone for. His guilt gives him an edge, and when he is of sound mind and spirit, Tommy is a natural born leader. Plus, he brings something unique to the table. If a giant robot, great ape, or any manner of kaiju attacks the city, Tommy can play his Dragon Dagger flute and summon the invincible Dragonzord!
Every super team needs a sidekick. The Justice League had Snapper Carr. The Avengers had Rick Jones. So, who is going to cheer on our Team of TV Super Heroes and be the fly in the ointment of every villain’s master plan?
Eric Forman – He IS the ultimate everyman. He has a vast knowledge of pop culture. He reads comic books, loves Star Wars, and has an extensive collection of original GI Joe dolls. Er, sorry. GI Joe action figures. He has a knack for getting into, and out of, trouble. His wry sense of humor is infectious. He has been the Employee-of-the-Month for both Fatso Burger and Price Mart. And, he has a sweet 1969 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser. So, if you have the gas money, he has the wheels. Eric is the perfect foil to any grumpy, steely-eyed villain-of-the-week bent on stopping fun and ruining everybody’s day. Just ask Red, Eric’s father.
All young super heroes need a mentor, a guiding influence to help them deal with the trials and tribulations of teenage life and saving the world. The X-Men had Professor X. G-Force had Chief Anderson. So, who is going to shepherd our young heroes into a new age?
Colonel Steve Austin – He is a military man, pilot, astronaut, and a secret agent. He’s had past experience with robots, clandestine terrorist organizations bent on world domination, and Big Foot! Oh, and did I forget to mention that he’s the Six Million Dollar Man?! He’s the world’s first bionic man, with super robotic strength, speed, and vision. Steve Austin is the right man with the right amount of experience to help guide these kids.
Ah, I can hear the television intro now (cue the Super Friends theme):
Gathered together from the four corners of TV Land, here on this glorious 70-in plasma flat screen, are the most powerful teenage heroes ever assembled. SABRINA! BUFFY! VERONICA! URKEL! THE GREEN RANGER! And their faithful sidekick, Eric Forman, with their mentor, the Six Million Dollar Man! Dedicated to truth, justice, and peace for all mankind!
If only the great Ted Knight were here to provide narration.
This is Odinson bidding thee farewell
NOTE: For past entries of the So Sayeth the Odinson blog, over a decade’s worth of comic book and pop culture articles and reviews, click HERE. Also, be sure to check out my novels The Survivors and Autumn Dawn, which were inspired by 1980s horror – HERE and HERE