So Sayeth the Odinson: The Odinson Assembles His Very Own Super Villain Team

Greetings from the Odinson,

The Masters of EvilThe Black OrderThe Brotherhood of Evil MutantsThe Injustice GangThe Legion of Doom.

Say what you want about them but one thing the arch villains of comics know how to do is assemble some truly formidable and scary coalitions of super villains.  Thanos and Lex Luthor are as Big as Big Bads come but even they sometimes rely on a little help from their friends.   It seems to always work out for the good guys, right?  So when the numbers are against you, it’s time to form an alliance, an alliance of evil!

The Odinson Assembles His Very Own Super Villain Team

So, say I want to rule the world, but there are just so many darn super heroes standing in the way.  I need some back up.  How do I make my decisions on who to recruit?  Who can I trust?  First off, I’m calling the shots.  I don’t need any other arch villains trying to undermine my commands and/or steal my thunder.  So Doctor Doom, Magneto, Loki, Lex Luthor, Sinestro and any other arch villain will not be invited. 

What will be my criteria for recruitment?  I need Muscle, Brains, Power, Cannon Fodder, an Enforcer, and, of course, a Lackey.  Oh, and I want the best of the best so I am using the entire spectrum of the multiverse to assemble my perfect team of super criminals.

Muscle – This is the tank.  It needs to be someone of monstrous size and strength.  Someone super intimidating.  A fiend whom even the most stalwart heroes are wary of.  My muscle needs to be mighty enough to topple any barrier that may bar our progression and absorb any punishment the law and heroes can dish out.  They have to be nigh unstoppable, yet easily controlled. 

Black Dwarf (Black Order), Blob (Brotherhood of Evil Mutants), Bizarro (Legion of Super Villains), and Validus (Fatal Five) are all great examples of what the Odinson is looking for.

My Choice: The Juggernaut.

Why: Cain Marko is the earthly avatar of the elder god Cyttorak.  He is invulnerable to harm, as strong as the Hulk, and able to absorb the punishment of entire super teams like the X-Men and Spidey’s Amazing Friends and barely slow down even a little.  He has no aspirations of leadership and feels most comfortable being told what do, which explains his long running partnership with a chowder-head like Black Tom Cassidy.         

Brains – This is the villain that is tech savvy.  That devious criminal that has the inventive genius and diabolical know how to make all sorts of super weapons, fortified lairs, and deadly traps.  They cannot have lofty aspirations of their own.  Otherwise there may come a time when their goals cross swords with my own.  So I need a real merc.  Someone whose sole purpose is to line his/her pockets and sell their talents to the highest bidder. 

Fixer (Masters of Evil), Gizmo (Fearsome Five), Ghost (Thunderbolts), and Trap Jaw (Evil Masters of the Universe) are all great examples of what the Odinson is looking for. 

My Choice: Destro.

Why: This is the guy that gets things done.  He is an arms dealer and weapons manufacturer, so I know my minions will be well equipped.  His nobility gives him honor, so I know where we stand, and his mercenary sensibilities let me know I can trust him as long as the checks cash.  Destro is wicked smart and even tactical.  His Man in the Iron Mask look makes him super cool and intimidating.  And besides, anybody that can build the H.I.S.S. tank is going to have a spot on my team. 

Power – This is the Ace in the hole.  This is the reason an arch villain can make his threat and be taken seriously.  This super bad has to be a walking, talking WMD.  Someone that possesses powers and abilities far beyond those of other men and women.  A true force to be reckoned with.  This is the arch villain’s ultimate trump card, but there must be a way to harness and control this immense power. 

Enchantress (Suicide Squad), Blackout (Masters of Evil), Superboy Prime (Sinestro Corps), and Sentry (Dark Avengers) are all great examples of what the Odinson is looking for. 

My Choice: Evil-Lyn.

Why: Evil Lynn is one of the most powerful magic users in all of Eternia, the focal point of might and magic for the entire cosmos.  Her power is perhaps only surpassed by Skeletor and the Sorceress of Grayskull.  With the ability to summon, conjure, evoke, and enchant on arch mage levels, Evil Lynn has proven she is quite the force to be reckoned with.  This wicked witch has a sharp wit, a venomous tongue, and her fierce loyalty makes her a powerful ally.

Cannon Fodder – Every arch villain needs his minions, an endless supply of loyal followers that follow commands without question.  They have to be adept at tasks like operating machinery and heavy artillery, proficient with firearms and hand-to-hand combat, possess computer skills, and look sharp in a uniform.  

AIM, Hydra, the Church of Blood, SPECTRE, and Storm Troopers, are all great examples of what the Odinson is looking for.

My Choice: Cobra.

Why: This seemingly endless army of mercenaries, scientists, and crooked businessmen bolstered by the best lieutenants and sub-bosses ever assembled, namely Destro, Baroness, Major Bludd, Zartan, Doctor Mindbender, and the Crimson Twins, and the deadliest special weapons division, V.E.N.O.M., are just begging for someone with a little more moxie than the cowardly Cobra Commander and little more stability than the unhinged Serpentor to lead them to the promise land and the conquest of the world.  And that’s where the Odinson comes in.  NOTE: Yes, I’m double-dipping with Destro but that’s just because I really want him on my team.   

The Enforcer – This is the bad guy that keeps all the other bad guys in line.  When my diabolical attentions are needed elsewhere, this is the taskmaster that makes sure my sinister plans are running smoothly.  If my minions begin to lose their nerve or threaten AWOL, this is the deterrent that sets them straight and makes examples if need be.  If one of my subordinates attempts a coo, this the bloke that stonewalls it. 

Karl Ruprect Kroenen (Disciple of Rasputin), Bronze Tiger (Suicide Squad), Master-Blaster (Bartertown), and Deathstroke (Secret Society of Super Villains) are all great examples of what the Odinson is looking for.

My Choice: Ultron-11.

Why: Constructed out of indestructible Adamantium and harnessing enough firepower to injure the Hulk and keep a small army of the Marvel Universe’s deadliest super villains in line, the Odinson can think of few scarier bodyguards than a reprogrammed Ultron that is 100% loyal to my cause and dedicated to my personal safety.  Doctor Doom knew what he was doing during the original Secret Wars and if you are going to emulate any villain, emulate the best.

Lackey – Every arch fiend worth his or her salt needs a loyal lackey.  A groveling yes man that slinks in the shadows, keeps an eye on the others and always reports any findings or rumors of insubordination back to the boss.  These type of underlings come in many shapes and sizes, usually hunched and cowering.  They are submissive but deceptively cunning and often quite dangerous.  They are an arch villain’s most loyal asset and right hand, right up until the wolves of justice knock down the front down.

Desaad (Apokolips), Toad (Brotherhood of Evil Mutants), Jinx (Minion of Glorificus), Sir Hiss (Advisor to Prince John), and Iago (Assistant of Jafar) are all great examples of what the Odinson is looking for.

My Choice: The Molecule Man.

Why: Owen Reece is a diminutive milksop that jumps at the sight of his own shadow.  He is a total yes man and easily manipulated.  But at the same time, within his quivering frame, Owen possesses powers on par with the mightiest entities in the universe.  He can manipulate matter and reality on a cosmic scale.  He’s a tiger that does not know he is a tiger.  And of all my evil allies, Owen Reece is my most dangerous asset.  I mean we are talking about a guy that dropped 150 billion tons of mountain range on top of the Marvel Heroes with but a wave of his hands. 

Anchored by the strength of Juggernaut, bolstered by the intellect of Destro, backed by the immense power of Evil-Lyn, supported by the numberless soldiers and lieutenants of Cobra who are kept in check by unyielding Ultron-11, and with Owen Reece the uncanny Molecule Man at my right hand, there is no force in the multiverse that can stop the Odinson and his Band of Bad Guys from taking over. 

(Insert evil maniacal laughter here.)   

This is Odinson bidding thee farewell

NOTE: For past entries of the So Sayeth the Odinson blog, over a decade’s worth of comic book and pop culture articles and reviews, click HERE.  Also, be sure to check out my novels The Survivors and Autumn Dawn, which were inspired by 1980s horror – HERE and HERE

About Odinson

I am a lifelong comics fan and pop culture enthusiast. Comic books, novels, games, television, movies, I love it all. From fantasy to science fiction, drama to comedy, as long as the writing and execution are interesting, I love it, and I want to talk about it.

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