Greetings from the Odinson,
Let’s have a little fun as we bring 2021 to close.
Charlie the Tuna has been the spokes-fish for StarKist tuna for 60 years now and is one of the most recognizable commercial anthropomorphic fishes in the history of pop culture. With witty dialogue and charm for days and days, Charlie ranks right up there with the greatest grocery mascots of All-Time, household names like Tony the Tiger, Kool-Aid Man, Mr. Peanut, and the Jolly Green Giant.
The Odinson would even go so far as to say ole Charlie the Tuna is the king of the anthropomorphic denizens under the sea including Sebastian the Crab, Nemo, the Incredible Mr. Limpet, and Sponge Bob Square Pants. But is Charlie the King of the Sea?
Let’s take a look at the competition.
The Savage Sub-Mariner – He is Namor, the Avenging Son and rightful heir to the undersea Kingdom of Atlantis. Half-Atlantean and half-human, Namor is at home on land, in the sea, and in the air. He is one of the world’s first mutants and because of his genetic mutation he grew wings on his ankles that allow him to soar through the sky like a bird.
Below the churning waves of the ocean, the Sub-Mariner is the mightiest creature alive and all but invincible. Even on land he is by far one of the strongest beings on the planet, able to stand toe-to-toe with heavyweights like Thing and the Hulk. He can communicate with all sea life and even mimic their special abilities like the shock of an electric eel. Namor commands a vast undersea army equipped with advanced weaponry and technology. He also possesses the enchanted Trident of Neptune, a symbol of his royal birthright, and the Horn of Proteus which allows him to summon forth leviathans and kaiju from the deepest darkest depths of the sea to do his bidding.
Aquaman – Arthur Curry is the son of a lighthouse keeper and an Atlantean princess. It is the latter that gives him his super human abilities and claim to the Throne of Atlantis. Aquaman possesses immense superhuman strength and swims faster than any other creature under the water. His dense skin can deflect bullets and when combined with his Atlantean armor, he becomes one of the most durable heroes around. His powerful telepathic mind allows him to not only communicate with all aquatic life but he can also persuade and, in some cases, even command them to do his bidding.
When Arthur is not feuding with his half-brother, the sinister Ocean Master, he commands the largest army under the sea and all its vast super science. Plus, Aquaman is armed with the Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact with magical abilities that allow the Sea King to manipulate the ocean itself!
Mer-Man – Mer-Man is one of the most loyal and powerful generals who serve under the command of the evil warlock Skeletor. He is the undisputed ruler of the oceans of Eternia. He rules his undersea kingdom with an iron fist and plagues the mariners above with pain and suffering. Armed with a vicious, barbed Bone Sword, Mer-Man’s aquatic strength makes him a dangerous adversary. And his command of the denizens of the sea, including an army of mermen and terrifying creatures of the deep, make him a threat to all who venture too far into his domain.
Triton – King Triton is the undisputed ruler of Atlantica and sports one of the most epic beards ever seen under the sea. He is the crowned monarch of the mer-people and father of many beautiful daughters including brave Ariel. Triton’s magical trident makes him all but invincible. He distrusts the surface world and is the mortal enemy of the sea witch, Ursula.
Roman – He is the powerful ruler of the seven seas and king of the undersea kingdom of Neuport. The weapons and powers of Roman’s kingdom are more magical than technological. Roman is incredibly strong and durable. He is over a century old and even fought alongside the Allies in World War II against the Axis Powers. He was a mentor to the young man that would one day become the undead super soldier known as Battlestone.
Poseidon – What else can I say about this guy that hasn’t already been said before? He is the god of the sea and storms and the creator of horses. He is one of the most powerful Olympians, surpassed only by Lord Zeus, and perhaps Hera the Queen of the Gods.
His progeny is legendary. He is the father of the sea god Triton, the heroes Theseus and Orion, and the winged horse Pegasus. His wrath is legendary and his blessings are greatly sought after. Lord Neptune is the King of Kings when it comes to ruling the seven seas. All the other names on this list bend a knee to him.
So, how did little ole Charlie the Tuna stack up to the monarchs of the sea?
Sorry, Charlie. You may be the King of Tuna, but you are not the King of the Sea.
This is Odinson bidding thee farewell
NOTE: For past entries of the So Sayeth the Odinson blog, over a decade’s worth of comic book and pop culture articles and reviews, click HERE. Also, be sure to check out my novels The Survivors and Autumn Dawn, which were inspired by 1980s horror – HERE and HERE