So Sayeth the Odinson: The Odinson Presents: The Villain War

Greetings from the Odinson,

A few weeks back, the Odinson pitted the Villains of the Marvel Universe against the Villains of the DC Universe in a no holds barred battle royal for the ages (see Rogue War).  That was fun.  So much so that other villains from across the multiverse have decided they want in on the action and a shot at the title belt.  So without further ado, the Odinson Presents:

The Villain War

The Red Ribbon Army vs. Cobra – The Red Ribbon Army is a paramilitary group bent on world domination.  Cobra is a criminal-terrorist organization bent on ruling the world.  The Red Ribbon army has plenty of firepower, tanks, planes, and bombs, and they have many soldiers under the command of special operatives and officers like Commander Red, a diminutive leader with delusions of grandeur; Adjutant Black, a loyal soldier to the cause; General Blue, a clean freak with psychic powers; Doctor Gero, a mad scientist and expert in robotics; Captain Yellow, a tiger-man and expert pilot; and Colonel Violet, a strong military woman in a man’s army.  From the Firebat to the Rattler to the HISS tank, Cobra has some of the deadliest combat vehicles in the world and an army of fanatical soldiers to support them.  Their inner circle is comprised of some of the most sinister villains around – Cobra Commander, an ambitious man with big ideas and, unfortunately, little courage; Destro, an arms dealer that wears an iron mask; Zartan, a master of disguise, infiltration and assassination; Storm Shadow, a super ninja; Doctor Mindbender, a mad scientist and brilliant biochemist; and the Baroness, a cunning beautiful woman trained in counter spy tactics and the art of seduction.

WINNER: Cobra.  It takes the world’s greatest special forces unit, GI Joe, to keep Cobra in check.  The Red Ribbon Army is routinely defeated by a single boy, Goku, the strongest boy in the world, but still a single boy.

Predator vs. Terminator – The alien Predator is the galaxy’s greatest hunter.  The cyborg Terminator is Sci-Fi’s greatest killing machine.  The Predator scours the universe looking for the most dangerous game to pit its strength and skills against.  The Terminator was created by Skynet, a super computer, for one purpose and one purpose only – the total annihilation of mankind.  The Predator is a seven-foot tall alien with sweet dreads and armed with an array of weapons including retractable steel claws, throwing buzz saw, a cloaking device and a shoulder cannon that can cut a man in half.  The Terminator’s body is comprised of a hyperalloy combat chassis with a microprocessor, and is fully armored.  It’s very tough to hurt and even tougher to bring down.  The Terminator has complete files on anatomy and an adaptable AI that makes it more efficient at its job.  Anything can be a weapon in the mighty metallic hands of a Terminator.

WINNER: Terminator.  The Terminator’s sensors and scans can see through the Predator’s cloak and its armor is tough enough to take a few blast from the alien’s shoulder cannon.  Pretty good battle, Terminator wins.

CLU vs. Agent Smith – CLU is the ruler of the Grid, a virtual computer world where survival is the order of the day, and a villain with aspiration to rule the world of man.  Agent Smith is a sentry program in the Matrix, a virtual computer world designed to enslave mankind, and a villain with aspirations to destroy all humans and anything else that gets in his way.  CLU is a great warrior who was able to defeat Tron, the virtual world’s greatest protector, in combat and he has the ability to create computer generated weapons of war like light cycles and light jets with his mind.  Agent Smith has super strength and speed and can shatter a cinder block with a single blow.  He also has the uncanny ability to assimilate any other sentient program, usurping control and replicating himself to create a virtual army of Agent Smiths.

WINNER: CLU.  This was probably the hardest contest on this list for me to decide.  But CLU defeated Tron, his world’s Neo class hero, and Agent Smith always ultimately loses to the power of the One.

Venger vs. Mumm-Ra – Venger the Force of Evil is a demon sorcerer that seeks to rule the realms of Dungeons and Dragons and gain ultimate power.  Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living is an ogre-mage and the most powerful source of evil on Third-Earth.  Venger has powerful minions like the Shadow Demon, Kelek the wolf-riding wizard, and an army of orcs and goblins at his disposal.  Mumm-Ra has the Mutants of Plun-Darr under his thumb and can call upon the Ancient Spirits of Evil for power and wisdom.

WINNER: Mumm-Ra.  Venger is too easily distracted by his pursuit of the magical weapons of children and his feud with Tiamat the dragon to ever really get anything done.  Not to mention, Venger was once a good soul that fell down a dark path.  Mumm-Ra is the ultimate servant of evil and would never waver when victory was within his clawed grasp.

The Decepticons vs. the Inhumanoids – The Decepticons are giant transforming robots from the far off world of Cybertron that have come to planet Earth to steal its natural resources to help further their war effort against their hated enemies, the Autobots.  The Inhumanoids are monstrous creatures that rise from the depths of the earth to plague mankind with suffering.  Led by the mighty Megatron, the Decepticons can transform into powerful weapons of mass destruction like tanks and jet fighters.  The Inhumanoids are led by the mighty Meltar, an unstoppable juggernaut of death and destruction.  His minions include the ghoulish D’Compose, a skeletal giant with the power to turn his victims into zombies, and Tendril, a Lovecraftian terror that crushes its prey with its many tendrils.

WINNER: The Decepticons.  Another close battle, but the militaristic Decepticons are more organized and their firepower coupled with their team work would eventually overwhelm and chase the nigh indestructible Inhumanoids back to the bowels of the earth from whence they came.

Aliens vs. V.E.N.O.M. – The Xenomorphs are the galaxy’s most adaptable species and one of the greatest survivors in the history of Sci-Fi.  They are a hive species with claws that can rend flesh, a scorpion-like tail that can spear prey, a retractable mandible that can strike from a distance, and they have acid for blood.  V.E.N.O.M. (Vicious Evil Network of Mayhem) is the special weapons offshoot of Cobra, and like Cobra, V.E.N.O.M. is a group of terrorists bent on world domination.  Its special operatives pilot spectacular transforming vehicles.  For example, V.E.N.O.M.’s leader, Mile Mayhem, pilots the Switchblade, a stealth helicopter that can convert into a fighter plane for more firepower.

WINNER: Aliens.  If Colonial Space Marines can’t defeat the Xenomorphs, then nobody can.

Viltrumites vs. The Walking Dead – The Viltrumites are a race of super men and women with powers and abilities far beyond those of ordinary men and women.  They are basically evil Kryptonians, think the three super villains from Superman 2 and you’ll get the picture, warmongers with the physical strength to move mountains and the ability to survive almost any injury.  The Walking Dead are just that, reanimated corpses stalking the earth for human prey.  Though immensely powerful, the Viltrumites are on the verge of extinction and their numbers are quite small, whereas the Walking Dead’s numbers are seemingly endless, and everyone alive has the potential to join their living dead legions.

WINNER: Nobody.  Everybody loses, for if even one Viltrumite somehow gets infected the multiverse would be engulfed in an Apocalyptic end of times scenario not seen on this scale since the Marvel Zombies.

Other villains waiting in the wings, ready to add to the chaos and destruction wrought by those on this list are The Ax Gang, SPECTRE, Skeletor and the Evil Masters of the Universe, the Daemonites, the Zerg, the Borg, Darth Vader, Dracula, and the shark from Jaws.

Oh, the horror.  The horror!  This has truly been a villainous showdown for the ages.

This is Odinson bidding thee farewell

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About Odinson

I am a lifelong comics fan and pop culture enthusiast. Comic books, novels, games, television, movies, I love it all. From fantasy to science fiction, drama to comedy, as long as the writing and execution are interesting, I love it, and I want to talk about it.

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